My apologies for not posting last week. I had a bit of a setback. The thrush came back with a vengeance and I was in a lot of pain. I decided not to post on purpose because it all sounded like whining to me. I was not in a good place. It felt like I was almost where I was supposed to be as far as turning the corner and then a truck ran me over. And not in a good way…
So back on the thrush meds both pills and mouthwash. I tried tylenol #3 but it didnt even put a dent in the pain. Back on hydrocodone. And 4 bottles of lidocaine mouthwash. A rough weekend trying to get the pain in check… sweats and chills again. Not what I was expecting and it really threw me off.
The healing pattern isnt a straight line… its been a month now since my last chemo and radiation. It doesn’t feel like we have lot of forward movement though. I’m bobbing and weaving and this thing just keeps playing tag with my face.
Thanks to those that have reached out. I do appreciate it, really.
I finally took some time off work this past week. I should have just taken short term disability but i think i would have gone crazy without something to keep me distracted. I ended up cancelling the short term, and then just taking a week of vacation. I definitely needed the “time off”, even though I was wading thru emails and jumping on calls I couldn’t pawn off.
Still on liquids, trying to get a bite of oatmeal or soup on occasion but mouth and throat still sore.
I’ve lost a little more but have been pretty steady at 144-145. Just need more calories. On the upside, hydrocodone does make it easy to sleep. I’ve slept better over the past 5 days than I have the entire time in treatment.
I did drive to the grocery store yesterday. It was good to get out of the house, but I really shouldn’t be driving. I got up from sitting in the car and almost blacked out as i was standing by the back of the car getting the groceries. That weird black cone closing in. I stood there for a minute hoping i wouldn’t have to sit down as it cleared. Trying to play it off as being thoughtfully contemplative on some big life lesson, and not about to take a nap in the parking lot.
Also Stacey did request that I interject here that she was around the entire time taking care of me, and that she was not aware of the “tom-foolery” that I was about to partake in and she was only gone for about an hour. And if you would take your meds on time, you wouldn’t always be chasing the pain… and then some other stuff…I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening… kidding dear.
I guess i will be working from home again this week. Work has been great about giving me the time I need, but I’m ready to get back in the office. Hopefully very soon.
THE NEW NORMAL 